Diary Of a Mosaic Soul: January 2024

Written By Rachael Alexander


2024 started out with a super surge of energy for me. For the first 2 weeks I was literally on a high of just a lot of energy and enthusiasm to put towards actualize my artistic dreams. I’ve been feeling the call for more intimacy, love, and passion for life, relationships, and connections to what I do and who I surround myself with. And so this is the birth of this new series called Diary of A Mosaic Soul: Monthly Reviews. I love the idea of doing monthly reviews (don’t hold me to each and every month) but when it lights me up to share I’d like to share insights, challenges, achievements and more that I experience, traverse through, and have throughout my life. It feels like being able to have an internet diary of my progress and life’s journey. A chronicle if you will of my life.

Challenges of the month

January 2024 was a bit challenging only in the face of dealing with trying to get regular sleep as well as balance this new habit of drawing/painting everyday. For some reason I became obsessed with learning how to be a professional artist. And although this passion is still there it’s less faint. I almost think this obsession became a little too ego based which caused me to at the top of February want to take a long break from art. Which is wild! Because I love art. But that to me is a testament to not force yourself or your creativity into a box. Otherwise you risk the chance of losing your passion of zest for what at first was a fun exploration and curiousity.

Follow your bliss. Not your mind’s perception of what you “should” be doing.

That statement became the huge life lesson and challenge that I started to unravel in January.

There were days when I would wake up super excited to get my sketchbook so I could draw. But I think forcing myself to “draw every single day, even if for only 5 minutes” for some reason met a lot of inner resistance and dread within me by the end of the month.

This thing that I loved doing and having fun doing now felt like a chore. And I think I was placing too much heaviness on it. Like I want to be a professional artist – and now this thing that I love has the chore of taking care of my well being. When honestly that’s not it’s job. My creativity and creative exploration does have the power to invite different flavors of abundance in, but I think before I could even just explore it for what it was I placed the cart before the horse way too often.

And I’m still honestly recovering from that.

 

Insights of The month

I think as creatives and artists it’s ok to just let your passions be nurtured like little babies and let them decide on what they want to become. I now see that it’s insane to ask a new born baby to grow up immediately and start supporting you financially, emotionally, and all the other “lly’s” that we need as humans.

So why do we do that to our creative expressions? I like to call these Divine Soul Expressions (artistic forms in whatever medium – art, music, fashion, film, photography, etc…). But I’ve learned that each of these creations are like their own entities and we are like the mothers and caregivers to them.

We birth them into the world, nurture and care for them, and give the the guidance yet freedom to become what they are blueprinted to become. It’s not our job to force them to be what we think they should be. They are their own entities with intelligence, energy, and information to share with the world in their own way.

So I’m learning to allow my passions, and Divine Soul Expressions to be that. My job is to give space for them to come alive, speak to me in what ways they want to be birth and nurtured, and then release them and let them work their own magic in the world. Maybe they will heal millions or maybe they will simply touch ONE person. It’s not up to me.

I’m learning to give them full spaciousness and freedom to breathe and be what they want to be. And this discovery and insight feels so much better and freeing for me. Because it frees me up from trying to “make something happen” or worse try to “make my passions support me financially”.

Does that mean I won’t promote or share my passions or creations with the world? Nope not at all. Like I said before I’ll intuitively know what wants to be done with them as they are being birthed.

A creative marketing idea will come to me, or simply a desire to write a nice email to share with my community/email list. Or simply just adding it to my online portfolio with no promotion. Whatever it’s supposed to do will come to me without much effort and I’m learning to trust that more and more.

 

Achievement of the month

My Divine Team (spiritual family – spirit guides), have been working with me for years to simply just follow my heart more and let my passions be my guide. I can honestly say that for the month of January that was my primary focus. Routines went out the window other than exercising and eating breakfast. I simply just woke up and did what I wanted to do every single day. Whether that be sleep in, draw, dance and sing around the house, watch tv, create something, or do nothing I simply allowed myself the freedom to do more of what I love moment to moment.

This was and still is a huge achievement for me because it is my belief that freedom is our birthright and that is what my version of freedom looks and feels like. Doing that and learning to trust the my wellbeing will be assured was the challenge but also the victory as a music gig of a sizeable amount came in just in the nick of time to help me pay bills.

And I didn’t even promote of market myself. I simply just woke up and did what I wanted to do. And I’m starting to see and re-know that this way of living is totally sustainable when I trust that all is well.

It is a very radical way of living, because most of us are taught to wake up in fear, chase after money so that maybe we can have a sliver of joy, and repeat.

But my heart and soul’s been telling me that there’s another way – my higher self calls it the Freedom Paradigm.

And choosing to live in this freedom paradigm is just that – freeing!

You let go of the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” of your life. You move into peaceful and powerful knowing that your wellbeing is assured. And you trust and KNOW that all is well and that your desires are already done.

The fact that you even have a desire means that it’s done, all you have to do is move into the frequency and the energy of it’s doneness and continue to follow you heart and let the universe match you in it’s creative ways of delivering to you your desire.

It’s a dance of intuition, play, trust, and willingness to embrace the unknown every single day. It’s a death to the conditioned self and conditioned mind every single day.

And I’m happy to walk this path because it’s what my soul clearly came here for – otherwise it wouldn’t even appeal to me in the slightest.

 

Do I believe that everyone should live this way? Nope I’m not into “shoulding” on others. We are all divine and all each have our own unique soul’s blueprint. This is just mine and it feels nice to have a place to share it with those who might resonate.

 

Low Point of the month

Simply by January 29th I started to feel that burnout feeling of forcing myself to draw daily. Also the fear of where is the money gonna come from to support my existence definitely came up a few times this month as well. But like always solutions always have a sense of arising in their own time. So I didn’t have many low points really. My health and mindset have all been pretty good. I attribute that to just working on it and having healthy habits for years that help me to stay positive and uplifted throughout all of life’s many journeys and rollercoaster rides.

On days I feel burnout or just my mind wants to go into panick I usually just either: sleep a lot more, meditate and communicate with my divine team/higher self, and allow myself to just free flow with whatever I feel like doing with no pressure. I find that moving from a place of fear never yields the results I desire, so I’ve learned to just let the emotions rise and give them a bit of attention and let them dissipate on their own – which they always do as long as I give them space to exists.

Highlight of the month

I completed 30+ days of daily drawing, and I actually am still drawing everyday even if only for 5 minutes. 

I created a video about my 2023 in review as well as a creative video on How to Achieve your dreams.

They both felt like joy: writing the scripts, shooting the scenes, coming up with the b-roll, adding music and more. It was a glorious expression and exploration back into filmmaking for me.

Some off my favorite things

  • I went to go see American Fiction by Cord Jefferson starring Jeffrey Wright, Tracey Ellis Ross, & Erika Alexander. It was soooooo good. The ending was a bit confusing and not my favorite but the rest of the movie was great. It touched on a topic I had been complaining to friends and family about for years; which is that black entertainment in America is just too tainted with “the struggle” and “slave narratives” for me to really enjoy it anymore. Hence I think why I’ve moved over to start watching a lot of K-dramas and C-Dramas. But make no mistake I’m definitely picking up on subliminal messages and programming in those shows as well, but at least it’s not geared towards me as a person of color in America.
  • Everything Everywhere All At Once – OMG this movie is amazing!!! I know I’m so late, but it’s definitely a must watch. Feel free to follow my Rachael Reviews tiktok account where I share my favorite things I like to watch, consume, or use.
  • Discovered some new youtubers that I love! Namely: Paloma The Peach, Megan Wang, Carritube, andArt by Louise. They are all Art Youtubers with cute art that is sharing their creative and business journeys.
  • 303 High Priestess Tarot – I love her astrology forecasts. She has a down to earth energy that isn’t pretentious and some of her energy forecasts actually do resonate and align with my life experiences.
  • Jacob Collier’s Djesse Albums 1-3 – omg he is so inspiring and talented. He reminds me of me (not to sound conceited) but I love that he composes and creates in all genres with no holding back! He inspires me to share all of my music without trying to fit into some tiny little box. He is such a Maverick for sure, but his music, harmonies, melodies, and lyrics are all outstanding. Definitely a must listen to. He is really making great music including all the collaborators that he works with.

Your Turn! What were some of your highlights and low points of January 2024?

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